it's a beautiful evening.
hello wonderful earth.
auwww. the trip to Malaysia was absolutely fabulous! i had a blast!
i didn't get much pictures thou.
it was kinda weird this trip. i don't do things that i usually do when i'm on a holiday. like for example;

- noticing the hotel name.
- collecting shower gels, shampoos and whatever toiletries they provide.
- buy lots of souvenirs. loads of them!
- takes plenty of photos. PLENTYYYY.
- buy chewing gums. and bubble gums.
- anddd, idk. hahaha.

but this trip, i was pretty much random. my motive was just to have fun. loads of fun. anddddd, i did! ohhh, it was stress relief alright.
we went to Port Dickson. and up towards Melaka.
dad told me the history of Melaka. i listened attentively, like a cat.
hahaha. well, it stole my interest. impressive. (:
the knowledge, that i gained, from my not-so-old-man.
hehheh. (:
and ohhh, dad drove the whole night. he's kinda worn out now. :(
i couldn't imagine myself behind those wheels, driving around Malaysia. whoaaaa. i'd be dead meat. holy chicken rice with a soup!

anyway, dad got us a family cat last night. she's soooo adorable.
pictures not taken yet.
soon. soon.
just waaaaait. be paitienceee. hahaha.
as if you people give a damn!
anywayyy, she's really cute! (:
hahahah. sungguh comel. and that's her name too. Comel.
cute kns? i named her, for your info.
she's still a kitty thou. small. :D and damn cute too. just like me. :D:D
hahhaa! anyway, she's around 1 or 2 months old. still young. and sooo loving. she licked my fingers yesterday. and also a few hours ago.
she loves me! ohh yeah, she does. my sister's a little upset. or jealous, more of it. haha. Comel bites! mama says it's "gigit manja". hahaha.
oh well. she has a place in my heart. since yesterday.

she slept with me too. on my bed!
(i can sense some jealousy out there.) *sinister laugh*

anyway, i think Comel likes BLUE. (:

til then, here are the pics.

now you see me...


now you don't! ohh, but you see aini.


sister lurp! :D


ohh, she ain't cryin'.


teasing pose! xP


randomly having fun! :D


KITTY!! :D this isn't Comel.


yeahh, my sister loves me! :D


ohh, my brother too? haha. yes, yes. :D


basically, having fun with sand... :D


at the sate (satay) shop in port dickson! :D


the night i ate venison. OMHG! o.0



here's how venison tastes like...
tasteless!
it was kinda hard to chew on.
i almost had rabbit meat (as satay) for supper. dad was excited to see the reaction on our faces. but mama didn't order. so yeahh.
haha. he got shocked for a few minutes.
i enjoyed watching the reaction on his face!

that's all folks! :D


& my desire for you is much too strong.

hey all you earthlings.
hmmm. i've got not much to blog about today. just miss blogging, so i thot maybe i could just post something. heh.
currently, i'm chatting with diana. yeah, it's random. we're kinda talking about young uncles and aunties. (:
and my future uncle, that is like 14 years younger than me! holy cow.
how can my uncle be 14 bloody years younger than me? *sigh* i'm old. pfft.
i'm bored. superrr bored. bored to the core. like totally living in the world of boredom. ohkaaaay, i think that's enough. hahaha.
anyway, diana thinks that my young uncle is gonna be cute. i think he's gonna be super hawtt!! like me. heh.
my uncle what. hahaha. idiot.
ohkay, whatever.
my mid-thirties nenek (grandma) is pregnant! o.0
trust me when i say, she owns not a strand of white or grey hair! that's like soooo cool. for a nenek (grandma).
i mean, my oldest cousin is like 26 this year. whoaaa! that's like wayyy old. heh.
sorry hisyam. (:
ily! :D:D

hehehe.


& there's so much more left to say if you were with me today face to face.

hello people.
yesterday, i met up with.... let's not mention his name.
*thinking of his popular nicko* hmmm, nonya?
yes, "nonya" is a HE. *smiles*

typical way of burning time during holidays, slacking under void decks.
walked to loyang point,

me: (saw bubble tea shop) i want bubble tea! *full of enthu*
nonya: alamak.
me: heh-heh.

*location, bubble tea shop*

me: *thinking* i don't know what flavour to buy.... haha.
jacq: ya, me oso. what to buy ar?
nonya: buy me. *chuckles*
jacq: something to drink lah.
nonya: ya lah. buy me lah.
jacq: can drink you meh?
me: *laughs*
jacq: *orders*
nonya: buy me. buy me. faster.
me: euwww. chrysanthemum tea. *still thinking* what flavour ar?
nonya: water with money also have. *laughs*
me: *laughs* air mani? disgusting sia you.
nonya: *laughs* what flavour you want? anything can.
me: whatever.
nonya: *laughs*

anyway, i ordered oreo chocolate which was damn delicious! hahaha. finger lickin' good. well, not really. hahaha.
damn! now i feel like eating KFC. LOL.

i think last night was one of the days a friend of mine actually talked some sense into of me. ohkay, it was crazy talk. but it contained a lot of holy sense. he got me all "whoaaa". too much to handle? maybe, perhaps it was.
i mean, you don't expect a guy who's dirty-minded, always talking about girls and women in certain ways, has R21 contents in his phone, enjoys watching shows like, Good Luck, Chuck, to be finally talking about education. holy cow!
it was like mojo jojo (that ugly monkey-looking dude from power puff girls) suddenly join the power puff team in saving townsville. i mean, i do believe that there's a good in every evil villain. but it felt like david beckham was doing maths, out of the sudden. let's say, algebra? you'd be thinking,
HOLY SHIT!! DAVID??

yeah, it got me thinking too.
i mean, holidays aren't even over and, i'm thinking about final year?? what banana has gotten into me???

whatever it is, i still need that grade to be satisfied. it's not only about proving people around me wrong. but it's also about getting what i want. i always get what i want, and i always have it my way. but when it comes to education, i just don't quite care. bad attitude!

LOL! :D

ohh, p.s. ilham and lukfi is staying over til tomorrow. YAY! :D


& once I get out, there's no turning back.

heyy you guys.
don't feel much like posting today. it's late.
it's like 2:56am. dammit. *sigh*
here's the thing. i feel awful. i barely know me. i do things i usually don't. i don't know exactly what they are, but i know i've done things i'm not supposed to. i feel wrong. just, it's all isn't right. you know? i mean, maybe some of you could get what i mean. but maybe, just maybe, most of you won't.
i don't feel so much of cheery, happy, full of enthusiasm, and all those, idk, what do i say? happy stuff? smiling me? the one that's always laughing, and smiling, and, i barely cry, people! i mean, i'm a girl for God's sake. a human, with eyes, that could actually produce tears. i think guys who let out their emotion, are very brave people. they do not live in fear. same goes for girls. it's like, most guys, they shut in. they don't really tell, nor share. they're all... secretive and stuff. you know.. like my brother for instance, he has a blog, which he barely updates, he tells me things. he's deepest secrets. but not his very best friend. ohkay, he might be dead, because i said that. but a man has every right to choose who he wants to tell things to, who he wants to be friends with, who he wants to date, who he admires, who he crushes, who he.... ohkay! you should get the point by now. i admire guys who actually dares to cry, especially infront of another guy. or girl, for that matter. it's not wrong to cry when you feel down, is it? or, like when you're feeling totally lost. like you don't know yourself. you barely know you. you wish you have people to talk to. but all you are is actually, scared. confused, upset, annoyed with... life. i know what my problem is. but i keep it in. i just don't say it. i don't, i don't tell. i don't even know who to tell! i mean, i know my mom's all understanding and stuff, and my brother, he's cool about things, he knows almost everything about me. almost everything. but at this state, or point, of life, you should be expecting a girl like me to be crying. but i've not shed a single bloody fucking tear! maybe it's an emotional breakdown. just maybe. but i think not.
i'm not a kind of girl who's easily affected by emotions or feelings. sometimes i think i barely have one. except when i see a really cute guy, then yeah, i do have feelings. wohkaaaay, let's get back.
i mean, did you even realise how many "i mean(s)" you've read in this post? i honestly have no idea on what's happening. but i sure really want to! pfft. greater than life. i have always believed in my grandfather's life motto,

"whatever you wanna do, do it. but at the end of what you've done, never, i really mean never, regret the results."

although it's not exactly what he always say but, it's something like that. this told me to really make my decisions as if, idk. it just made me realise that whatever i do now, in the present, will affect my future. so everytime i think about a decision that i'm about to make, from the biggest to the smallest, whatever hell the decision is about, i gotta make it right. even if it's just a practise, even if it's only for show. sometimes, the tiniest mistake in life could affect the person you love most. take it from someone who knows.
i try not to regret things i did, what i've done, and most of all, the future, what i'm going to do. i'm not sure if what i did really hurt that one very person i cared most in my life, but it seems that i really did stab right thru his very heart. i just could feel the distance between us now. i never thot it'd be something like this. i never, ever, not even once, ever, thot of a future this way. my future. which is now my present. it never came across my mind. it just never did. i wish i could change things, maybe even turn back time. it's crazy talk, and definitely impossible. and i try, i try my very best, to not regret. but the thing is, sometimes i don't even have a clue about what i did. i just don't realise it. that's the devil. but if only that one very person, truly knows. it's all difficult and very complicated. i sometimes wish i never had a heart, so i wouldn't feel all this silly pain, and heartache for that matter, (that could actually have been avoided, in the first place). maybe if my heart stops beating, it won't hurt this much.
this is sooo crazy. and not to mention, how many "maybe(s)" i've used. and also all the "very(s)" you could imagine. it just isn't me. at least not the me that i know. *sigh* i've been at this for hours. hey look, it's already 3:57am. how much longer can i stay at this? honestly, i could really write one of those thick books about my life. and maybe remind myself not to forget, listing all the steps of how i managed to ruined it so perfectly that i ended up writing this shit and posting it to a blog! which basically not many people read. which is good. i mean, most people hate long post. so yeah, i'm getting there. *sigh* i just miss the old me.
i know i'm the kind who hardly cries. i'm a strong girl. sometimes i just let go, because i'm tired of fighting, and i'm tired of holding on. as i mature, i understand things better. in life, you have to give and take, grow up, forget the past, but the future always has to bring the past up. well, you can't really blame future because without past, there ain't no future. and without future, there ain't gonna be a past. that is cause when future, future comes, your now future (present, basically) is your past. anyway, i did tear while typing this half way. *sigh* i thot my body has officially stopped my eyes from producing tears. heh. LOL. i guess this is all i have for now, at this hour. i better turn in. sweet dreams, earth. (:


..... i guess the smile never fades. (:


& the rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.

hello people.
i'm not feeling so well this pass few days. quite sick. -.-
sorry for no updates. tonight, i'm supposed to go to my cousin's birthday, but i'm not going. :(
sad huh, you pretty face? *sigh*
i feel sooo down. like one idiot, you know.
pfft. CRAPP! but wait, i really do.
well, i got a playlist for my jukebox. that's a real something to cheer me up. heh. yeah, i know, pathetic. but hey, whateverrr. at least it made me happy. pfft.
anyway, ismady (my very, very, very favourite sweetheart) got me a new nicko! :D yeaah, that made me smile today. big one, baby. like.... bigger than this >> :D
ROFLMAO. ohkaaay, lame. i'm sick deyy. pfft. -.-

ismady: why you so quiet today?
me: sakit uhs.
ismady: awwww, kechiiiii-an dier.

i really wanted to slap him that "chiiiii" moment. but, lack of strength..

ismady: you sakit aper?
me: sakit lah! (reaching boiling point)
ismady: ohh. sakit otak?
me: *smack his head* (finally, satisfaction) shuddup lah!
ismady: AUW! pain siak. you think my head tennis ball? you wanna smack-smack? huh?
me: *keeps peace*
ismady: why soooooo quiet? i feel like i don't know you, man.
me: *giggles* why so?
ismady: you're one holy riot! always bising. lagi-lagi dengan amshah and idris. tk bleh diam.

then he started calling me "riot". some way of irritation, i guess. to make me talk? make lotsa noise? awwwww, i get it nowww. someone misses my voice. hehheh.
ohkaaay, i don't really enjoy being called, belo or riot.
but uhh, it's kinda cute at times. and very annoying (all times). hohoho.
anddddd,

ismady: look at your hair! it's in riot too. just you... hmmm, why oh, why?

LOL! :D

i miss ilham. hahaha.
he has a laugh that sounds like santa. very haaawwt.
seriously, the laugh, not the person. *shakes head* thank you. :D
hehheh. ILHAM! he's ohkay actually. hahaha. but he's like, my cousin. pfft. i saw that man.... in diaper. ohkaaay, so everyone wears diaper, so what? but, he's my cousin! so fifa, shuddup. i know you have the hawts for ilham, oh yeah. i know all about it.

heyy, i'm starting to feel better already. but, not really. still kinda hott leh. hahaha. ohh, i got a shoutout, it's for HAFEEZ! :D

i'm hawtter than you, mr.! ;D
ROFLMAO. come and get me. hahaha.
ohkaaay, ismady... thank you for the smiles. :D
heh. weirdo. random child. heyy, i like that.. hahhaha.
NO STEALINGG! i bite. grrrrr.
ohkaaay, shuddup aiyeeen. this is basically just the beginning of a sick girl. a sick aiyeeen, is a siowww aiyeeen. hahaha.
but uhh, according to mr. smart ass (prof. ismady) it's;
a sick aiyeeen, is not a good aiyeeen. a good aiyeeen, is a riot aiyeeen.
that, i likeyy. hehheh.
ohkaaay, i better stop here. i miss blogging. *sigh*
i miss everything!!


& desperate desires lead to desperate pleasures.

heyy fishes in the deep blue seaaa.
sorry i didn't post anything for the past two days. life's been as usual, boring. andddd, i've been unusual, studying. pfft. i have a blank mind at the moment, nothing much to sayy here.

i basically just can't thinkkk!
OMHG!! hmm, i think i've figured what's missing... Starbucks!
i need that raspberry frap, or a mocha latte, or a something.
i need sweetness! oh hell, this is great.
seriously, i have forgotten everything about sexual reproduction, science. i can't thinkkk. my brains aren't working. just not functioning well. what's wrong?!!
holy God, i need my brains. the ones filled with information? on subjects? what i've studied, in school? basically, i'm screwed. gawwwd!
i wonder what happened. i need tutoring lessons! just to refresh my memory and get back my tempo. the beat was nice, you know. now, i hardly heard a thing! *frustrated!*


& there's a big difference between a failure and a fiasco.

hello world.
this is really sweet. well, at least to me it is. xP
hahhaa. hmm, it's a conversation between me and hunney bun. :D
soo hmm, here we go...

me says:
hmm, siti nurhaliza....
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
is already old & unfamous
me says:
hahaaa.
me says:
old seyy kene.
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
hahaha. you continue the sentence sampai tak boleh stop
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
then it's much more cooler
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
hahaha
me says:
ohkaaay,
me says:
she married the datuk becauseeee...
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
the datuk had alot of money
me says:
and she wants all the money so that
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
she can buy new clothes & make better albums cause
me says:
she wants to be much-much popular and
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
cool but Syafiee thinks Aiyeen is hotter because
me says:
he's sooo in-love with her that he can never forget her and
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
to him, aiyeeen is the best thing that has ever happened to him this year and
me says:
he's thankful that it did but
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
he wants something more when they'll go out together however
me says:
he doesn't know how to say it and he's
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
speechless but he has a surprise for her when they go out but
me says:
he is
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
not telling her cause
me says:
he doesn't really wanna ruin the surprise and
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
he'll just keep her in suspense and
me says:
make her very gerammm but
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
he thinks she will still love him no matter what because
me says:
he's sooo sweet, and kind, and baik hati, and romantic, and caring, and everything a girl wants, but...
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
all she wants is to hear his voice now and
me says:
he's not calling her yet but
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
he will call her as soon as possible because
me says:
he too can't wait to hear her voiceee because he's sooo in-love with it and
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
he's sooo in love with her and
me says:
he's gonna miss her while "she's gonee, outta his lifee" ohkaaay, and uhh... he will have to
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
meet her as soon as possible to give her his kiss nad
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
and
me says:
tell her all about the surprise and
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
let her have her fun with cute guys in denmark but
me says:
she chooses not to flirt there because she has her heart stuck to him and
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
he will always have his heart stuck to her because
me says:
he can never forget her or stop thinking about her, even for a minute or
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
a second cause he's soooo in love with her & everytime he thinks of her
me says:
his heart beats faster
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
and he smiles whenever he thinks of her and
me says:
she does the same too but
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
smiles are not enough for her cause
me says:
she wants to be with him, in his arms, and she wants to spend time with him at
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
the beach where he will definitely make her melt with his kisses & hugs and
me says:
she can't wait for that moment as, she wants so splash him with water and get him all wet, and
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
they'll get wet together & they'll live happily ever after. okay, sounds like a book
; SYAF // [ Provehito in Altum ] says:
hahahah


:D hahaha. that's all folks. hahhaa. cuteee kns?
heeeees. *melts*
uhh, buhhbyeee.
i wanna eat. :D:D


& that's the reason we need lips so much, for lips are the only things that touch.